Today I woke up. I didn’t want to be up.
Today my throat killed me. I didn’t have sick days to use at work.
Today I had to work. I didn’t want to.
Reading over those above observations from today, I see a common word among them: didn’t. Did not were the first thoughts that inhabited my brain.
By the end of my 8hr workday, I ended up back where I had began: my bed.
I laid there with my pants half down as I was too lazy to take them off, and I blindly scrolled through the various social apps of Instagram, Facebook, and the almighty Grindr. I found myself slipping into daily habits that have proved to prosper nothing than more than a desperate plea for ACCEPTANCE.
Immediately, this past week’s email guide zoomed through my brain. I remembered:
DON’T PUT UP WITH YOUR OWN BULLSHIT.
Horrified, I lept out of bed, put on comfy clothes and made the only thing in my cabinet that is food related (a can of Campbell’s spaghetti and meatballs). I poured a glass of milk to accompany my gourmet meal, and then turned to the white board on my fridge. On it from earlier that morning were the words I had written which were simply, “Fuck the bullshit.” Look, I’m no Emerson, but I scurried to get it erased as soon as possible. I ran to my bag to find a book I had bought on my lunch break earlier in the day (Oprah Winfrey’s What I Know For Sure) and quickly memorized the quote on the back of the book so that I could replace my previous piss poor attitude with it.
“Your journey begins with a choice to get up, step out, and live fully.”
So, with this renewed strength I collected my poor man’s dinner (complete with mason jar of milk), and was out the window to sit on my fire escape beneath my glowing white, tacky Xmas lights. As I climbed out the window, soft music played from a nearby window and I knew it was my beckoning invitation to sit outside with myself, my new O book, and my thoughts. And this I did, reading 100 pages of the book. I dove into thoughts of compassion, joy, and gratitude.
MY POINT IN ALL THIS
I had an initial sense that today wasn’t for me, and this idea led me through my day. I was talking the talk, but not walking the walk for what I am trying to do with A Self Help Guide.
But I ended the day on my Brooklyn fire escape under tacky christmas lights, Campbell’s, and a good book.And although I find it important to seize the most from your day, I find it most important to…
END YOUR DAY WITH PEACE AND HAPPINESS.
Your final thought is always the most precious.